Surprisingly,this is my 402nd post in SickLapDance.
Since young i've been a major blogger and i'm continuing to do so till im old.
Well,i've got to say,i'm pretty amazed at how things change so fast.
Friendship,Boyfriend,Family,Finance,MYSELF.
Everything's changing and i don't feel the same.

There were so many bad things in life that i've encountered.Especially when i received that bad news.I have once told myself,"If anything bad happens,its karma."What have i done before?Maybe its fate,maybe its my own fault.Its all full of "maybe's".But whatever it is,it is still me.I can't change it.

Its the only horrifying thing that i have to accept in life.Try putting yourself in my shoes.Its demoralizing and it burns in the heart every single day.I guess now i have to wait.Wait for what there is to come.I'm also waiting for the day when i realize,there is actually something good in store for me in the future.

Friends may not understand this ordeal that i have to overcome.Family may find it an advantage when here i am depressed.Boyfriend doesn't know anything.Well,at least its for the best.

People may find me a psychotic idiotic freak but i am because of everything that has happened to me.All the painful guilt and sorrowful moments.Those bitter memories. All of this made me more hostile towards the society.I feel like running away and leaving everybody behind.I am ashamed to be part of the more capability.

All i need is motivation from the people i love for me to continue life.I've been through alot and it hurts.I really need to regain my confidence.I feel so insecure.

I had a weird dream yesterday and that made me write all of this. So yeah.

One last thing,Congrats to Sister for a baby boy,Nil Aiman! ^^