Sometimes i feel that love is a complete waste of time.
Sometimes i feel that love fills my life with happiness and joy.
Now,i feel that love is just nothing but a plain heartbreak.

I swear i am always unlucky in love.
I've tried my best to find the perfect soulmate, but none understand my wants and needs.
I've been waiting patiently,i've been making certain moves to show that i love someone,i've been doing a lot of sacrifices but i don't think guys appreciate my efforts.
Indeed,there are guys out there who wants to meet me up and i feel their sincerity.
But i doubt it will lead to anything but friendship.
So what if i make a lot of guyfriends? They won't like me for who i am.
They will comment me physically. They will critique on how i do things. But really,
who will accept me, flaws and all?
A guy with a sincere heart? Yah,right.

Its fun to have relationships at a young age because later on, you will find it easier to understand the opposite sex when you grow old.
Yup,growing old. You won't grow old with your friends. You will go separate ways. What you will grow old with is your lover.
Someone you can depend and trust on. Who will listen to your every story from work, every gossip you have, everything.
That someone will never find you boring.
Lovers who got married and never had an affair before,*claps hands* i applaud you.
For being so faithful and keeping on that promise when they have made their vows during
their weddings. (Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww)

From that,i would like to conclude one thing. Is there such thing as love?
Why have not i felt the real deal before? Is it because i'm still young?
True love comes naturally. I'll wait for that. But....

I just want a person right now to grab me by the hands and look at me with gleaming, genuine eyes and say
"Usmah, you are the one who i've been looking for all this while.The girl with imperfection of which i never really cared about. You are the love of my life. I would like to spend the rest of my life with you and with you only. I swear on that. Will you be mine?"

:/

That's what friends are for....

I feel most comfortable with my biri-biri friends.
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

#1:

#2:

I love my girlfriends.
Stupid boys. Always crawling inside girls hearts and breaking it into a million pieces.
Now,officially,all of my gfs and me are single!
NO TIME LA WANT TO THINK ABOUT ANOTHER PERSON'S LIFE.
So,let's have some fun during prom!

*I'll bring a DATE to prom. Hold on,how about i bring MULTIPLE DATES?*
(inside joke)

Maths Paper 1 was okay but i think there will be a lot of careless mistakes.
Mathe Paper 2 will be hard,i think?
I want to flunk my Combined Humans. I'm not good at memorizing.
I hate physics but i don't think i can score well for chemistry.
Art is unpredictable.
English is kinda average too.

So,i really want to see my results for O Levels as follows:

ART A2/B3
MATHS B3/4
MALAY B4
ENGLISH C5
COMB. SCIENCE B4
COMB. HUMANS C6

L1R4 (The red grades): 18 points!

I'm not aiming high because im not working hard enough to aim high.
I'm not smart enough or is naturally smart to aim high.
So i'll aim what i think i can get.
O Levels is gonna end with a blink of an eye.
I can't wait.

I will not NOT go out during the weekends.
O Levels or Z Levels.
I just find it like a routine?
Oh yeah,sleepovers are fun!
^^

Goodnight.

"They say there's many other fishes in the sea.
Well,there's actually not much left."

I wanna party all night after Os because i will be free.
FUCK YEAH FREEDOM!

Graduation Day.

Well,4 years. 4 years being a Yusoffian and proud to be one. 4 years being around friends i won't ever find in other schools. 4 years of which i will never forget. All the good times,bad times,bittersweet times. All of them will be cherished. I WILL REALLY MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT SCHOOL! I just can't help it but to smile just thinking about the past,and cry when thinking about the future. Where all of us will be leading our own lives and strive to succeed in life. I cant wait to face the future,because it will be a thrill,having to do things that you like. For me,its art and art only. Visual Communication is the ideal course and i hope i pass all of my O Level subs. I must never be complacent about getting into DPA. I must equally work hard like the rest because i want a nice and decent O Level cert. But having realize that we're going to be independent in the future,and leaving friends behind,it really is sad. Im sure most of us will act as if you don't know me in a few years time. I hope we will always be in contact.

Being in YI showed me how to be independent,the true meaning of responsibility and also being creative. Even though YI may not be the best neighbourhood school in town,but hey. Its one of the most united schools i've ever seen. All of the students are motivated to one purpose,to achieve great success hand in hand. Well,thats what i infer from the school's overall image. I'm forever proud to be a Yusoffian and will always be one,inside.

Friendship in secondary school will always be the most memorable. Everybody who's working wants to get back in secondary school life,according to surveys. Its the most greatest part of somebody's life. Well,i have to agree on that because i have made a lot of friends. All of them made it so joyous in everyday school life. When i was in 1e2,2e2,3e3,4e3. Especially my 7 apples,tupais,bitchwhackos,kebabs,lesbian triplets,SURF and much more. Seriously,all of the clangs,crews,cliques ive been into are with people who are sporting and happy. Also,i've went out with a large number of groups (including NAs) and i bonded with them pretty well too. I'm happy to have met this people. I will miss all of my friends very much. It hurts to say goodbye. Thank you for everything. Although i wished the boys in the class appreciate me better.

I've literally an estimated of about 20 crushes in the school! It was fun being flirty and trying to get a guy's attention in the past. Nope,do not try and tell me that any of you girls have not tried to get a guy's attention ever in school. Haha. I will remember every single bit of sparks that has happened to any guy and me. It is really very cute.

Well,enough about everything that has happened. How about the future? You know what? Even after all the bad news,i'm gonna accept it and move on. I dont want to dwell on it any further. There really is no use. I want to continue my life as per normal because i think thats the way to do it. Also,life shouldn't have restrictions. Do what you like,not because youre forced to do it. (Except for O Levels) -_-" Live life as if you have complete freedom,even though you don't.

I had a pretty great day today. I SWEAR i had the most fantabulous bonding time with my friends today. Exchanging of gifts and cards and tears,speeches by teachers and seoul garden girl's only lunch. No doubt that i cried a lot. Haha. Pix will be the best way to show what i did. The pictures is fully uploaded in my multiply. Some pix will be displayed here and FB. Enjoy!

NOTE: ON HIATUS UNTIL 11th NOVEMBER

Sardines = Cloudy Meatball 3-D = A father who has eyebrows as eyes = Nadd + Me CLUELESS.

Girlfriends = Eternal friendship. (Hopefully)

Boy friends = Roller coaster ride. :/

Thursday = :'(

TLOML = ignorant = O's.

Studying = __ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O-Level = Anxiety Disorder/Malfunction.

Now = has the urge to study,but.. = lazy + sleepy + would rather do other things now.

Goodnight dancers. ;)

You are ugly in the inside if you ask me.
Even though its not obvious.

Sucha classic and cute song sung by my idol.
^^

Hi. Im Zooey Deschanel/Summer.
(KIDDING)
Watched 500 days of summer.
Well,to me its such a cute "love" story!
I love it and i cried like ****.
I envied the couples present in the theatre.



(heh,i saw a cow at town. a crazy one. heh.)

Thanks Amalina for accompanying me to watch the movie.
I bought a snake skin wallet from fourskin. A red one. :D
Oh and thanks Boyfriend for being so sweet.
You really need to stop being so formal with me.
Lose the tension already!
-_-

Goodnight people.

	Daily Couple's Love: October 09, 2009 VIRGO August 23-September 22 If things are good, they'll be great. If they aren't, you might feel hopeless -- but you shouldn't! It's just a phase, and any negative feelings should wash away by tomorrow or the next day.

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Well,Ms Tan commented on one of my pix that i photoshopped.
She said "Who is this?" I pointed to myself.
"Usmah? This is you?! You photoshopped yourself?"
Nods.(In my mind,i was saying,"Not much".)
"Doesn't look like you lei. How you photoshop?"
*Silence*

Maybe not all pictures lie. But my pictures SURELY lie.
Yep,i'm not that pretty in real life. I know that.
If the whole tagged people who wants to "meet me" literally meet me in real life,
i doubt anybody recognizes me and they wouldn't want to meet me anymore.
My personality also don't sparkle like some people.
I envy people like Nadd who have the charm to captivate people's hearts.
She can easily make people smile,laugh and all.
I can't,unless its someone i've known for a long time.

I actually do envy alot of people for different reasons.
People should appreciate what they are capable of doing.
They should also appreciate what God has given them.

I want to watch 500 days of summer!!
GIRLFRIENDS! TAKE ME OUT TOMORROW!
or else i'll take a chicken wrapped with macaroni and smack it on your neck.
<:B

I am so god-damn-it sick of love songs.
Anyway,i'm living my life like how i want it.
I don't need your calls at night or "concerning" texts.

I'm better to be left alone.
So don't contact me under any circumstances because i know you just wouldn't care.
I don't care what your excuse is.
All i know is i'm happy now.
& you being inside my mind is a heartache.

Don't think you can make it all better just by a simple text message or a call.
I've had enough of always being so easy to please.

CANT WAIT FOR :

• End of O's! ENVY N LEVEL TAKERS!! >:(
• Graduation Day.
• Prom Night!!
• Can't wait to take pictures with Mr Adam during Prom!
• This Saturday's Sakura Buffet Lunch/Dinner & 500 days of summer movie outing.
• Results for O's.
• Overseas trip with anyone after O's.
• To get the operation done smoothly and recover as soon as possible!
  
  LAST BUT NOT LEAST,I CANT WAIT TO SLEEP AND NOT GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!! :D
  Goodnight.

I FORGOT TO THANK RAUDHA FOR THE CUTE TEDDY BEAR SHE GAVE ME LAST WEEK!
THANK YOU GIRL! I'LL CALL IT CHANEL!
SURPRISINGLY,AMALINA ALSO GAVE ME A TEDDY BEAR JUST NOW FOR A LATE BDAY PRESENT!
THANK YOU TOO! I'LL CALL IT FENDI!
I love you two!

Well,i've been loving school.
But i hate receiving back my test papers.
Its depressing to get 14/80 for the maths test.
Indeed,almost everyone failed. But really,Usmah.
14?! Careless mistakes everywhere.
Its depressing.
I'm not aiming for a pass in E maths for O Levels.
IM AIMING FOR A GOD DAMN B3!!
Im dead.

Well,the lyrics to my blog song is very meaningful.
:-(

Goodbye.

"it's not easy to find someone who luvs you deeply.
you left 2 months 3 days ago. i wondered was it rly true. i never had a single feeling of hatred towards you cause i just miss you. i’m still unstable at my own two feet. memories still roll by, tears still flow and life doesn’t get any better. until now, nothing has convinced me. in a good way, breaking other people’s hearts is v fun. thanks (:"

You really made her love you,didn't you? How come you claimed otherwise.
When i said 5 mins in a day,its not literally.
What's the real use of having me as a girlfriend?
Is it to bring me to nearby shopping malls and check for your necessities?
Dates with you used to be outings at town to watch movies,fort canning park to talk about things and much more.
Its so much more mundane now,as you said yourself.
I wanna go to places we've never went before.
A REAL date. That would be the most nicest LATE birthday gift you can give me.
:/

Happy Birthday Nabil! Glad you liked the card. :D


Pix in multiply butch-ass.
(FULLY UPLOADED!)

Don't ask me whats the problem. You go figure out yourself.

Thanks for the tears yet again.

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Jalan Raya bersama kawan2 sesungguhnya best.
I went jalan raya with 25 friends,the most so far!
I likex3! I bonded with alot of people today.
Thanks everyone for everything!

Bye.
*Pix are in facebook and multiply!!

"When you wanna die,when you're hurt inside.
There is nothing left to say."

It's kinda coooool to have friends who understands what

i've been trying to imply to them since the past few months.
Thank you.

Appreciation is a great thing.
If i could,i would love it if the whole world just take a minute or two and appreciate me.
Well,thats too ambitious. My friends are one group at least.
My generous amounts of lame jokes and efforts to try and make them happy.
I also love it when people around me are smiling.
It gives me a certain satisfaction that makes me feel happy myself.
Unless a weirdo is smiling at me,that is.
HAHA.

ITS TGIF!
I CANT WAIT FOR THE DATE WITH TLOML & THE RAYA OUTINGS WITH FRIENDS THIS WEEKEND!
I AM PSYCHED!